How do I begin to write again?

So today, what it is that I want to talk about?
It's been several months and alas, half of the year is already over. I can't believe that from this month forward, time will just go by pretty fast (due to holidays in the ber months) Next time you know, its 2012. Another year has passed, or should I say, is wasted?
I always feel guilty of not being able to do anything significant or productive. I may be being very hard on myself, but you see, I used to be an over achiever. I love being busy. I maintained a scholarship for 8 years. After which I started working, and earning and loving my life when suddenly fate told me to slow down by giving me a very restricting disease. It sucks.
Every morning I wake up. Look at social networking sites and see the lives of my friends pass by.
I have been married for three years, but I still do not have a baby because I simply must weather lupus or else it will just result to miscarriage and unnecessary financial spending.
So what does a sick housewife do everyday?
I wake up, prepare my husband for work, fix the bed. And basically stay home all day everyday. Its me, the room, the bed, the tv. Everyday. Occasionally I would go out. But everyday is the same.
I try to keep myself busy with my husband's aquariums. I clean it all the time. They somehow give me a sense of purpose. Like I am needed. I want to feel needed every time I feel useless. I feel useless most of the time. Or maybe its because I am living on the standard of normal people. I need to set up my own standard of success, because my life is beyond what is usual from healthy people. I am different now. It's a fact that I must accept.