Waking up naseous

One thing I hate about systemic lupus, is the constant fatigue. I may sleep even the whole day but still wake up restless and seem like I haven't had enough sleep. What I hate most is waking up completely nauseous and groggy. I took prednisone yesterday (I actually cheat on my medication because I would hate it if I get really fat again.) And today I woke up so dizzy and my back is aching. Things I normally get through with the disease. I envy normal people and I do miss my healthy days.

Valentines 2011

I'm the type of girl who really do not like flowers for some reason. Maybe because they are beautiful, yes but after awhile they just wilt and die. They are ephemeral like that.
Well, I received this little surprise around lunch time. He was in the office and I was going through the regular day like any other housewife.
I really was not expecting anything this valentines. I know so well that surprises really do not work well in my relationship.
But these really made me smile awhile ago.
I do appreciate white flowers. More than any other color.

2nd of February

One thing I hate about SLE is having to wake up, wanting to do a lot of things, yet having this limited amount of energy. Oftentimes I have read in other blogs that Lupus patients are always branded as lazy. We are not really lazy. We just get tired very easily as compared to healthy people.

I can compare my energy each day to an hour glass. Each sand is precious and while there are more sand, I hurriedly try to do as much as I can, until my body aches which tells me I am getting tired and I must stop what I'm doing or else I'll be suffering the consequences.

What consequences? Arthritis in my hands, feet and back. If I force myself into doing so many things, I even end up in chills, fever, nausea which I need to sleep off. It is probably because of the abnormal levels in my blood. And I'm not exagerrating. It usually happen.

As much as I want to live as normal as I want, its always there, trying to remind me every time that it doesn't have any plans of leaving soon. But as usual, I really don't let it win.

Hello again, after a year

Its been a year since I last wrote here in my blogspot and its just now that I have the energy to get back at it.
I do miss writing. I have been putting off my writing for such a long time now. Partly because of tiredness, partly because I want this blog to be very organized, for I have so much to say. But then, I want to be as spontaneous as possible. And I do want to talk about a lot of things.
There's a lot going on with me. Ever since I stopped working, I started living. And even if my disease can be very restricting in a lot of aspects, I also find it liberating from the usual constraints of an "ordinary" life.
I would love to expound a lot more, but its already 6:16 pm and I'm not sure if I have been moving incredibly slow, or the time just ticks so fast...
I need to get a lot of things done before I try to sleep tonight.